caracaleo

Book 1: Part 2- Thoughts Analysis and all that jazz: “Why Men Love Bitches” Chapter 1

Posted on: May 4, 2012

This chapter is called “From Doormat to Dream Girl” (18). I love this. It’s not about being a dream girl for him, for a man, or anyone. It’s about being a dream girl for yourself. At least thats what I think

Source

I am definitely too nice. I just give and give and give. Then I end up feeling resentful. I want to impress and prove my worth. WRONG

The nice girl “She is the woman who will overcompensate, giving everything to a man she barely knows, without him having to invest much in the relationship” (19). She wants to keep him and prove her worth. This means she pretty much lays all the cards on the table. I tend to do this. Omg I just talk and talk and do nice things. Its not a challenge a guy thinks its too easy. He thinks he can have you whenever he wants. It shows him you don’t value yourself. This is definitely something to work on. As to how to do it…One day at a time

Argov states ” Attraction Principle #1: Anything a person chases in life runs away” (19). This is true. Dogs, birds, etc. Men are the same way thats what she is trying to point out. When you give it all up when you put all your cards out on the table and try to impress someone it is a turn off. The guy thinks she is desperate . Sometimes we are, I have definitely felt that way. But I feel desperate when I like a guy I want him to like me..But screw him if he doesn’t like me. I’m the shit.

Argove “Attraction Principle #2: The woman who have the men climbing the walls for them aren’t always exceptional. Often, they are the ones who don’t appear to care that much” (21). I understand where this is coming from but at the same time I don’t. This is a hard one. You have to show you care but not be easy.

Argov says “He’d think you’re desperate and he’d want to see just how far you’d be willing to bend” (21). I recently made this mistake. Always saying yes, simply because I wanted to be around someone. You have to let someone miss you. If he thinks you’re always wanting to see him, call him, etc…then it looks desperate, it looks like you can’t be on your own. “Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man’s respect” (22). TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS. But its like shit, I do this…so that is NOT NOT NOT good. I hope I didn’t just ruin things with someone.

Argov explains how a bitch is selective about when she is available. Its hard she is right here, and I have to do thisss.

Argov “Attraction Principle #3: A woman is perceived as as offering a mental challenge to the degree that a man doesn’t feel he has a 100% hold on her” (23). Agree with this. She doesn’t have to prove things to him.

Argov shows us one Situation (28)

Doormat “She calls him often and says please return my call”

Dreamgirl “She gets back to him when she’s free”

Doormat ” She makes it obvious a relationship is her goal before she knows much about him”

Dream girl “She goes out to have fun and doesn’t make promises to a virtual stranger”

Dammit Argov is good. I totally totally totally agree with these things and of course I fail epically and am totally a doormat. Bah. Tomorrow I attempt to start my change.

Argov “Attraction Principle #4: Sometimes a man deliberately won’t call, just to see how you’ll respond” (29). I have definitely found this to be true. The thing is that I don’t think guys like man list and are like I know today I am going to ignore her. It’s a brain human nature thing. People do not like to feel like you are dependent upon them. Guys , girls, your family want to see that you can be alright on your own and be a happy smiley awesome person.

Argov “Attraction Principle #5: If you start out dependent, it turns him off” (31). Again this is true. If a guy did this to me and was all dependent I would be creeped out. Yet, I am a wonko because I totally do this. The thing is I don’t even know why I do these things because I know I shouldn’t do them. I think I am bizarre. That’s what it is. I need to figure out what is making me behave this way.

I think the thing is. My parents divorced. Their relationship was extremely toxic and abusive. So I guess I drew upon relationships like that. I.e. my first boyfriend and my most recent ex- were those controlling guys. Those guys who liked submissive girls who did everything. AND I THOUGHT IT WAS NORMAL. I thought it was normal because for me it was normal. It’s exactly the relationship I saw between my parents. Just because it wasn’t okay, I knew that. But it was something I was familiar to. It was normal for me. So I’m very proud of myself that I got out my previous relationship because for the first time I showed myself that I respect myself and I value myself. I have to just take it from here I guess.

Argov “Attraction Principle 6: It is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt” / “Attraction Principle #7: Act like a prize and you’ll turn him into a believer” (33). This is so true. But its not just when it comes to men. It comes to your co-workers and friends. You family, your job, everyone around you.Screw everyone and have self-love and then you will get what you want. Value yourself.t

A nice girl says ” I don’t” want to play games,” a guy thinks “She talks too much” (37). OMG I FAIL. 1) I say this 2) I already talk to much so I guess I already sunk that ship. Hahaha maybe he two cancel each other out. (Btw this guy that I never thought was cute I just thought was cute and he walked passed me. I don’t know if he’s gay, in a relationship, or married, or a serial killer. But he looks like Hugh Jackman in Wolverine. I’m not talking to him. Ignoring him. Not chasing. hahahah muahahha. I’m a bitch. )

She has that ‘Je ne sais quoi’“(38).

So I definitely have SOMETHING. I’m not really sure if its a good thing. This is what Argov says “Gorgeous women get dumped everyday. It isn’t about intelligence. It’s about mystery and learning how to create intrigue..” (38). I think this is awesome. I am definitely that girl thats like I have an edge. But maybe its a weird edge because I am a crazy wonko, or maybe the crazy is good and an edge, but the crazy energy needs to be channeled in a different way. Either way I am doomed. Save yourself it it toooo late for me.

Source

Argov ” Attraction Principle #8: The biggest variable between a woman who is too nice is fear. The bitch shows she’s not afraid to be without him” (40)

This is probably one of the best things I have ever heard in my entire life. It doesn’t have to do with relationships. This is a topic that has to do with EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE. I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid that no one will see my value.. But FUCK THEM. I am realizing that I know I am of value. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I think with all 7 billion people on the planet it is hard. It’s hard to feel like you’re any different than all the other 7 billion people. I mean thats a lot of fucking people, and we don’t wanna get lost in the shuffle. At least I don’t. I want to matter. I want to make a differenced. But I realize That does not mean everyone has to know my name. If I can impact one person , help one person, make a difference in one persons life…Then I have to realize I have made my mark on the world.

By living and learning about myself. I am loving myself.

Argov quotes Margaret Atwood, one of my favorite authors of all time. Saying “Fear has a smell, as love does” (40). They say animals can sense fear. I think this is true of people. People can tell fear. I have to work on this.

When I read all of this book, even though I have only made it through 4o pages, I am learning. I would not learn if I did not write about it, think about it. Reading isn’t going to get me anywhere. Saying I want to do something. Saying I know something is right or wrong isn’t going to change me. So I don’t know what to do. This is just where I am going to start. One step at a time. I’m not sure how to do it. But I’m going to keep trying, because I know I am worthy of more.

Source

Advertisements

2 Responses to "Book 1: Part 2- Thoughts Analysis and all that jazz: “Why Men Love Bitches” Chapter 1"

It seems like a must read book. Thanks for sharing.

thank you, ya i have only read 40 pages, but I feel like its lessons are applicable to things outside of relationships… That’s basically that. You can learn live lessons everywhere.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Me

Follow My Tweets, Hoots and Chirps

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Top Clicks

  • None

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 153 other followers

%d bloggers like this: