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Book 1: Part 1- Thoughts Analysis and all that jazz: “Why Men Love Bitches”

Posted on: May 3, 2012

I have decided that this will be the first book I am reading, evaluating and working with.

First of all I think this is a self-esteem , self-help book in a relationship advice book. My first feelings are that it is really for empowering women to be themselves to trust themselves..both in life and in relationships.

What is a bitch? In this sense I think the title is perfect. It’s about breaking stereotypes. Many people think a woman is a bitch because she holds her own in a conversation, because she is smart, strong, powerful, and knows what she wants. Bitch is often used as an insult and Sherry Argov says no, we are not going to be insulted, we are going to make and define this term for ourselves. I want to be a strong woman I want to be a bitch, and not a bitch in the way you see it, but in the way I see it.

Introduction

Argov begins the book by explaining the title, and its meaning kind of life I said above.

On the first page of the introduction she says this “Every woman has had a man pursue her, only to lose interest the minute she gave in” (13). I agree I have had these feelings of relationship frustration. It’s like what I am doing wrong, and what is going on here. Why is this happening!!!!! Argov explains that the woman described is considered “too nice” and there are differences between a bitch and nice girls.

She then goes on to describe bitches vs. nice girls and I’m going to make my own little list incorporating her perspective and mine.

Bitch

  • Kind yet Strong (This is a hard one for me. I love being kind and a people pleaser, but this gets me into trouble, because I focus on other people more than myself..)
  • She won’t chase a man (This is hard when you want something you go after it. I feel like I am worthy, I value myself, and a man should chase me, he should move mountains for me. I should decide…still working on this one)
  • She doesn’t give up her life (This is hard for me too because I care about other people too much)
  • She won’t let a man think he has a 100% hold on her (ok I fail at this too)
  • Feminine on the outside , steel on the inside
  • Presence of Mind
  • Isn’t Swept up by romantic fantasy
  • She can remain cool under pressure
  • She provides a mental challenge
  • Is not needy
  • Is not a door mat
  • Does not always say yes (I always say yes if I like someone I want to see them, but I really need to like be what up I am happy I don’t need your approval)
  • Empowered
  • Doesn’t live to anyone else’s standards
  • Plays by her own rules
  • Confident
  • A certain aura

Basically, I am not a bitch. I want to be but I’m not. I need to keep these words in my head, they need to be my mantra. I get so focused on caring about what other people think of me I lose sight of myself, and I start to look to others to determine my worth. WRONG WRONG WRONG. When I read these things, I want to be them. But reading them and saying them is different than doing them. So i’m going to start doing two things at first 1. Don’t chase after guys 2.Don’t seek approval from other people, Don’t use others to determine my worth.

Argov says this ” Success in love isn’t about looks, it’s about attitude” (15). I have to agree, and I think this applies to life. The more you value yourself, the more other people value you.

So far I love this

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2 Responses to "Book 1: Part 1- Thoughts Analysis and all that jazz: “Why Men Love Bitches”"

i too want to be a bitch. I look forward to your future posts about this book, your making me want to head over to the library. 😉

haha i never thought I would say “mommy when I grow up I want to be a bitch” hahaha…but I so do. Thank go I’m not a grown up yet 🙂

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